I have always been a lover of a good latte. For well over a decade, I had an on-off again love affair with Starbucks. I would stop in on my way to work as I worked by different locations over the years. I knew their seasonal drinks and had my favorites. This was before inflation, so my sometimes-weekly habit wouldn’t even cost me $10.  Once we switched to remote work, I started going to local coffee shops in my neighborhood.

It’s clearly not the most fiscally responsible or healthy love affair to have, but over the past few months and weeks, it’s turned into an almost daily habit. I go for my walk and get a latte and a couple of sweet treats.  I often beat myself up for my newfound love when I peek at my account. Groceries and expenses are high enough already, I should be saving my money especially since I was now only working part-time.  What used to cost less than $10 a visit, was now costing $13 or more every time I go.

As I walked home yesterday with my glazed vanilla latte and donuts, it occurred to me that the reason I go to is because it makes my day feel a little bit better. For many of us, the past almost 4 months or maybe even before have felt chaotic and uncertain. Every day is another unprecedented day.  We have been inundated with negative and frightening headlines at an incomprehensible rate. Yet we are expected to continue functioning as though the world has not changed.

We are not meant to absorb this much stress and agitation, the grief of current loss and the worry of future pain. It has been a challenging start to 2025. If you find yourself in the in between space of wanting to do better, but falling short, give yourself grace. What sustained you before might not be able to sustain you now. The ways that you coped before, might no longer feel comforting. Our bodies know what we need and urge us to adapt when necessary.

I am my own worst critic. There is no one in my life that is harder on me than I am, and I imagine that I am not alone in that. I judge myself for how I am responding to stress instead of offering myself a kind word or even a hug. President Trump has signed 130 executive orders in a little over 90 days.  For context, from 2017-2021 he signed 220. With the constant changing pace of headlines, is it any wonder why I find myself rewatching Grey’s Anatomy or buying a latte every day? No, it’s not.

Give yourself a chance to catch up to this version of you. Take some time and notice if your interests have changed or maybe your tastes. Maybe you’ve been so overwhelmed, you haven’t even noticed the ways in which you are coping or not coping. Whatever the answers reveal, don’t judge. Sit and reflect and ask yourself in what ways can I show up as the best version of me? Trust me, you’ll know the answer.

As for my coffee addiction, I am now the proud owner of a mini espresso machine! I will still get my lattes and sweet treats, I just found a way for grace and my bank account to both be happy!