Happy New Year!! As I look towards the new year and reflect on this past year, I must admit that 2025 was a rough year for me. Between work and personal disappointments added with a world that is almost unrecognizable, I am happy to put 2025 behind me. There were beautiful moments, but it was a year of intense personal growth. And while growth is a good thing, it is not always a comfortable thing.
One of the ways in which I grew last year was in my personal hobbies. I have always loved art, and several years ago was taking art classes. I stopped once the package I had purchased finished, and for some reason I never returned to painting. For years, I would tell myself that I would take out my paint set and return to the empty canvas, but never did.
One day I saw a how to draw book on Instagram and was reminded that there was a part of my soul that I was neglecting. I purchased the book and my supplies and found myself oddly intimidated by the empty sketch book in front of me. I wasn’t expecting to be good, but somehow the thought of being a beginner felt daunting. There was no one else in my apartment but me, and no one was going to see these sketches unless I showed them. But still I felt nervous. Eventually I told myself that I was doing this for me and all experts must start at the beginning.
I followed the instructions in the book and discovered that I wasn’t as bad as I thought I would be, and it was fun. I remembered that I used to draw and color as a kid on my computer, and I loved it. I’m not sure when adults stopped starting new things. We have this belief that we must be amazing immediately. Somehow if we’re not good at something right away then it means that we’re not meant to do it. Very few of us are prodigies however all of us are talented at something.
Now I am no Van Gogh or Amy Sherlad, and I don’t necessarily intend to become a great painter, but I do intend to keep trying. The world might never see my art, or maybe it will one day, but either way I am ok not being very good for as long as it takes. This year as you set out your goals and resolutions for the year, I would ask you what are you afraid of starting because you are afraid that you will look like a beginner? Maybe it’s a business, or it’s cooking or it’s pottery or martial arts. Whatever it is, start there. Because the truth is what you are drawn to is also drawn to you too. You might be surprised to learn that you aren’t as bad as you think. Give yourself the opportunity to begin again.