Lifestyle

Twenty Life Lessons to Celebrate my 30th Birthday!

I officially turn 30 on Friday! I can’t believe that my 20s are coming to an end. It has been a difficult, challenging, decade filled with a lot of growth.  Now that I am about to start a new decade in my life I would like to share some of the wisdom that I’ve gathered throughout the years. These are in no particular order.

  1. Trust your gut: I’ve learned that my gut is almost always right. It doesn’t matter if it’s about a situation or a person. I’ve spent years stuck in situations that I shouldn’t have been in because I didn’t listen to my gut, but listened to my heart. Oftentimes you don’t know why your gut is telling you something, but time always reveals the why, just trust it.
  2. Time is valuable and cannot be replaced; spend it accordingly:This is a lesson I learned late. Some things in life can be replaced, time is not one of them. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. Use it wisely.
  3. Know Your Worth:Many people will come into your life. Job offers will come around. People always know your worth, they’re just hoping that you don’t know your worth. Never accept the first offer, because it will always be less than what you deserve.
  4. Who you think you are will change: As I’ve gotten older, the woman that I thought I knew has changed. My interests, my likes and dislikes, the people in my life have changed. I am not the same person I was at 20 and I won’t be the same person at 40. It’s fascinating to discover a new you.
  5. Love yourself:No one can love you before you love yourself. Learn to love the good in you and the bad. There are so many sides to all of us and if we truly love all of ourselves it will begin to create space to allow others who will truly love us for who we are.
  6. Find your people:As I turn 30, I don’t have the same friends that I had when I was 20. The friends in my life are the ones who have proven themselves. I’ve learned to let go of dead weight and honestly few things in life are as freeing as cutting off people who don’t belong in your life to begin with. Your people will be the one who support you through it all, but they also love you enough to give you tough love if you need it.
  7. You will drift apart from your people:As I approach my 30thbirthday, my plans have been changed about 3 times as to what I am going to do. And it’s not because I haven’t found my people, but we are all adults now and our priorities have changed. Some of my friends have kids, significant others. We don’t see each other as often as we used to, and it’s not because we don’t want to it’s just harder to. But even though you drift apart, you must make the time and effort to see each other. So maybe instead of seeing each other every week, set up a time once a month to get together.
  8. Talk is cheap:Watch how people treat you instead: This lesson applies for relationships as well as your career. I’ve spent too much time listening to what someone said ignoring all the red flags when their actions didn’t match up with their words. Remember people will never tell you are they are, but they will always show you.
  9. Mixed Signals are a sign:Lord, if I had understood this the confusion I could have saved myself. Mixed signals are a sign and the sign is no. Someone who is truly interested in you, will show it. If someone is making you wonder where you stand, then you need to just walk away.
  10. No is a full sentence:You don’t own anyone an explanation. If your answer is no then it’s no. Don’t let anyone try and change your mind. You know your own mind.
  11. Stop comparing yourself:We all have a different race to run. We also all run our races at different paces. As I turn 30, I find myself single, underpaid, and honestly not as far as I thought I would be in my life. It is easy to fall into the trap of comparison especially in our social media driven society. As my friends have babies and get married, it’s easy to fall into the trope of when will it be my turn? The answer is I don’t know. All I know is that we can’t compare our lives to someone else’s. The grass always looks greener on the other side.
  12. Appreciate the season you’re in:I’ve spoken about this before in terms of dating, but it also applies to so many other areas. There is beauty in every season. Being single has its blessings, just like being in a relationship does. If we constantly look forward to the next season then we never appreciate our present. You can be hopeful for the future while still appreciating where you are.
  13. Missing someone is not a reason to get back together with them:Breakups are hard in that you’re not just extracting a person from your life, but also the routine that you created with them. Missing them and the routine is a part of getting over them. But missing them means nothing more than that. Missing a person is not an indication of affection.
  14. Your worth is not measured by your productivity:Today with everyone having a full-time job and a couple of side hustles, it’s easy to start comparing who is the busiest. But being busy 24/7 does not mean you are productive; it just means you don’t know how to rest.
  15. Learn to rest when you’re tired:We live in a world where being busy 24/7/365 is a status symbol. If you’re tired rest. If you’re tired all the time, maybe go to the doctor to see what’s going on with you. I used to always feel bad for canceling plans that I’ve made or for just wanting to go home and rest, but now I listen to my body when it tells me what it needs.
  16. Your mental health is as important as your physical health: There’s still a tremendous stigma around mental health. As modern science progresses we are still only beginning to understand how the mind works. We know exercise is important, but we don’t make the same effort to protect our minds. Not just in seeing a therapist, but also in what we watch and what we listen to.
  17. Don’t wait for anyone:That trip you want to take but none of your friends are available, go. If you want to go to the movies or out to dinner, take yourself out. I’ve recently come to terms with this as I wanted to wait for a spouse to get a pet and do a couple of other things. But since I don’t know when that day will come, I’m not going to wait.
  18. Your metabolism will slow down and your body will change:As you get older your body changes. I look at pictures from a decade ago and am amazed at how different I look. I’m not upset with the changes, I just realize that my body has changed and it’s a part of life.
  19. Growth is Scary, but necessary:As I write this post, there are a couple of areas of my life that I need to work on and I am scared and nervous about these new changes. But I cannot grow where I am, and I refuse to live a life that is stagnant. Comfort is the death of the growth.
  20. Reassess your life frequently: Take the time often to ask yourself what’s working in your life? What isn’t working? Is the life I’m living the one I truly want to live? It’s so easy to find ourselves on auto-pilot just existing but not living. We only get one life, make sure that it’s one that you truly enjoy.

 

 

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