As we wrap up our discussion on love I have been thinking about what love means in the context of being single. I’ve shared this before, but I have been single (technically) for a few years now and not involved with anyone for the past 7 months. It’s been an adjustment not having anyone in my life to fill that void as I’ve often used romantic relationships to fill places in my life that were empty. Time by myself has helped me to see this, and I’ve grown to love being single. It’s helped me to fall in love with myself and develop a better understanding of who I am. Before I can expect anyone to love me for who I am, I have to know who that is. It’s taken a long time and it’s still a work in progress to see that there is beauty in this season of my life.
- Being single allows you to discover new things about yourself: Dating takes up time, it takes effort. When you’re single you can channel that time and effort into yourself. During these past few months, I’ve been able to discover new things about myself like the fact that I have a creative side to me. I enjoy painting and coloring. I also enjoy working with my hands building furniture and other craft projects. I love to cook and entertain. I take the time to go to different events around NYC and explore topics of interest. Don’t let being by yourself stop you from living. Take yourself out on dinner dates, go to the movies, or grab a drink by yourself after work. It’s fun exploring your city on your own, and you never know what amazing experiences and people you might meet along the way.
- Being single allows you the time to take care of yourself: Having spent years in relationships where my emotional and mental well-being were not priorities has taken its toll. I’ve noticed that in relationships one of the first things that goes for me is self-care. During this single time, I’ve started doing a weekly mask, practicing yoga, journaling, and giving myself manicures and pedicures at home. Not only am I looking better, but I am feeling better as well.
- Being single gives you the time to heal: Not being in a relationship is not always easy or fun. Yes, I do want to go out on dates and I do want to feel that spark from seeing that special someone, but I would rather wait than find myself in a situation where I settle for less because I can’t stand being lonely. Having this time to myself has helped me to heal from the past. I’ve been able to see the mistakes that I have made as well as let go of some of the pain that I’ve felt. It’s a work in progress, but I can honestly say that I am no longer in the same place that I once was.
- Being single gives you hope:I look forward to being in a healthy rewarding relationship. I want to build a life with someone. I want to travel and experience new things. I crave intimacy with my future partner, but until then all I can do is dream and pray. And I do pray about the type of man that my husband is and will become. I’m hopeful that my next relationship will be my last and am making sure that until then I am as whole as can be.
I am enjoying my single season, but am also beginning to break out of the protective shell that I’ve made for myself. Taking this time to myself has been rejuvenating and I would advise anyone who is fatigued by dating to give it a try. Let me know the ways that you are embracing your single season or if you’re in a relationship let me know what you did while you were single. Is there anything that you miss about being single? Leave a comment below!